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DON'T KEEP HARMONY FOR HARMONY'S SAKE: Autenticity as a way for greater connection & intimacy.

Sometimes the relationships we are in needs to be SHAKEN, especially if we have a tendency to avoid conversations that are necessary & neglect our own needs. Often people that neglect your needs are not aware they do, before we honestly communicate them. Sometimes, this brings up emotional reactions, but that strong reactions are usually fueled by unconscious wounds & have nothing to do with us.


Forcing yourself being in a place of harmony just to avoid the risk of uncomfortable emotions may be one of the most toxic things you can do toward yourself + others, as you continuously feel neglected & the other person is kept in the dark so they don't even have the chance to know something is not right. In a long run this leads to building up negative emotions within that relationship like resentment & frustration.


When we don't give them the chance to meet us in truth but uphold a false construct instead.


Conflict now & then is what is needed to take our relationship to another level, to an even greater depth. And it does not always need to be full of blaming & emotional terror yet sometimes it is. The more builds up, the greater the emotional discharge later.


But sometimes experiencing the edge is what is needed to open us up for even greater intimacy, understanding & alignment to enter. A wonderful growth opportunity.


AND Yes, there is a risk that a relationship will end, that chaos will make a visit & silent days come as a result. This is sometimes what happens & you are allowed to feel all the emotions that pop up. In fact you recieve a chance to tune in to your own emotional wounds & heal them when this happens.


There is a difference between healthy & destructive conflicts. Healthy disharmony is about open communication & speaking from our hearts while destructive dysharmony is about blaming, shaming & manipulation.


Many times we are not open enough, ready enough or mature enough to invite the truth to the table. So we rather cover it with fake niceness & smiles that inwardly turn our stomachs or we turn it into a game of manipulation or fake connection. The question is; what kind of relationships are you willing to withold in your life. What qualities do you want to grow?


Bringing honesty to the table is what shows the real depth & strenght of your relationship. At the same time, this is a process in which our Ego learns to disarm itself & is often a dance between unheathy + healthy conflict dynamics before we learn & mature.



What is worth looking for is if the person is open to take your perspective in & if the show for even small signs of engagement & improvement.


Because think about it - you waste your energy & time on pretending to be ok instead of finding a way to actually be ok. That relationship might not be worth your time if it is solely based on superficial values without mutual respect. Your time & energy are your most valuable assets, therefore make sure to use them visely!


This is about being true to yourself in relation to the people around you to create genuine & strong relationships without pretending & going against yourself. And you can do it in a mature & kind way that takes the other person's feelings into consideration.


As you become more authentic & genuine in your relationship, you grow, evolve & that can bring your relationships to a completely new level of connection & intimacy.


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